sCars Repressed

& I am not happy neither I am sad,

Just baffled as there is no reason for it.

Chaos of unknown wishes is all around,

Cannot see anything out of despair.

Desolated lyrics matches with my agony,

Only thing I am loving is this resonance.

Time is not healing it, actually condensing it,

It has attained the level of immortality within.

Place to resist is the corner filled with nihility,

No, not because it’s safe because it can’t be noxious.

Everything is rugged out there even the wind and,

It has abraded the scratches to the old wounds.

I chuckled at it, why?.. There is no new blood,

It's the same ripped scars with the frozen feelings..!! 

sCars

I am not listening the rhythm,

I am not liking the surroundings.

My shoulders are tired of my own weight.

And air around me making me suffocate.

Might be I am caught in feel of regret,

But I know so everyone else is.

Because a few loved, a few hated,

A few left and some just stayed together.

Old scars are emerging from their place,

& I have concealed the stories behind them.

Consequently I am loving the pain it caused,

I mummer & giggle as no one can know it.

There is a concealed tempest inside me,

Which is constantly shoving me to burst.

And I am holding it to the utmost, I have to,

If not, it will shatter away everything.

  

अनकही .....

आज फिर से दिल उदास सा हुआ है मेरा ,
वजह पता नहीं है और ना जानने की इच्छा है। 

पर कुछ है अनजाना सा है मेरी ज़िन्दगी में,
जो जाता है और आता है लौट कर बार बार। 

हर बार खुद का कुछ हिस्सा मुझमे छोड़ जाता है ,
और कुछ मेरा हिस्सा अपने साथ ले जाता है। 

फिर आखिर में रह जाता हूँ मैं कुछ अधूरा सा ,
करता हूँ क़वायद शुरू फिर से खुद को पूरा करने की। 


ना हार मानने को जी चाहता है न कोशिश करने को ,
जब भी नज़र आता है धुंधला सा अक़्स मेरे जेहन में।  

अब तो डर लगने लगा है ज़िन्दगी से इस सोच में की ,
कहीं मरना मेरा जीने जितना मुश्किल तो ना होगा। 
  

!!The Ugly Nights!!

the nights has started becoming longer,

and my eyes has stopped getting sore ..

my mind is racing with clock ticking,

& i'm wide awake without any meaning..

i wanna sleep, i wanna snore but i'm failing,

my heart is tired of inadequate quenching..

i want to crawl but the time is flying,

the more i'm trying the more its tumbling..

my every step makes me feel i'm drowning,

i know i'm lost alone but i am still walking..

life feels like a drawn but a colorless painting,

am i prey because these ugly nights are hunting..

An Absolute Dream...

And I was waiting eagerly for her to come up.

my eyes were flickering to every way she could come.

then she entered muddled in search of me,

I tried hiding being insight of her.

after moments of rush she walked up to me,

and I was struck by lightning of her personality.

I propounded my hand to hold her calmly,

it was feeling of blues turning into red.

every moment she talked, laughed & looked at me,

my heart skipped beats with her expressions.

I pulled her and grabbed into my arms tightly,

and she became the whole world for me.

suddenly the tickling of the clock made me sad,

she had to go & there was no 'good' in that bye.

I grasped her again and kissed her on forehead,

whispered in her ears, "will wait to see you again"

promptly I trembled with a touch on my shoulder,

she was there trying waking me up from my dream.

I smiled, she smiled back and asked 'what'?

I said, dreams can never be so beautiful as you are.

I Wish

She is lost she is hurt,
She never wanted let me know it.

The moment I saw in her eyes, 
Her loneliness owned me like a blackhole.

She remains like a mannequin,
but her own heartbeat cheats her quietly.

She is malaise like a wave of sea,

and I am afraid from the touch of it.

I wish to see her smiling again,
To walk out with me in this winter.

I take a step into her silence,
and she wakes up with absolute grace.

Glimpse of her beautiful face,
Defeats the shine of sunset.

Glitter of her precious smile,
Steals the darkness of my life.

and the colour of wind in her hair,
Gives me the feel of magic around her.

The pureness of her soul,
Attracts me like rhythm of music.

May god never stop playing it, may she never wakes up 
May I never open my eyes, may I never leave her hand.